ANNA HAS INSIGHTS… and questions!
Anna says………Good morning!
I just woke up and see I am in my crib. I feel good after having all those hours of sleep. I can’t fully express that feeling yet, so I just coo a little to myself. But wait… the feeling of contentment is beginning to fade.
I am beginning to feel lonely in here all by myself. I am also beginning to feel wet and hungry. These sensations make me cry. I need someone to come and take care of this discomfort I am feeling.
When I cry, I have found that my mommy or daddy comes to me to see what they can do to meet my needs. This feels so good and comforting. I am completely helpless. I have to have someone take care of me.
See… I told you, here comes my daddy already. He looks like he is glad to see me. He smiles at me and says, “Good morning Little Sweetheart!”, as he walks into the room. (He calls me a lot of different names. It is fun to see which name he will call me each time). I stop crying right away, smile back and wave my arms and kick my legs in excitement.
I am so glad he is here! He picks me up and holds me. It feels so warm and secure in his arms. I feel so special when he looks at me and talks to me. He asks me if I slept well and if I want my diaper changed. I just continue to smile back at him.
Daddy lays me on the changing table and takes off the wet diaper. He continues to talk and then stops to make silly faces at me. It makes me laugh. We are having so much fun together. Because my daddy and I have times like this so frequently, it makes me know I am someone special.
The hungry feelings are getting stronger now. I start to cry a little again. Daddy says, “I know you are hungry!” It is wonderful to have him so tuned into my needs. It sure makes me not cry and scream much.
Daddy carries me in to the other room. Oh…. I see Mommy! She is smiling and holding her arms out for me. I give her my biggest smile! I can hardly wait for her to hold me and give me a morning kiss. Because my brain is still very immature I do not have the ability to wait very long to get my needs met. But, due to Mommy and Daddy being so consistent in paying attention to what I need and then meeting my needs, I have already started to learned to calm myself a little bit and become a calmer baby. But, it will take a very long time before my brain develops enough to get myself regulated on my own.
Mommy takes me, sits down, and positions herself. Because of the repetition of this process, I already know this is in preparation to feed me. I get so excited with the anticipation. It feels so warm and soothing to be fed and held at the same time. Mommy usually loves looking into my eyes as I look at her and she caresses my hand while I eat. I feel so incredibly secure!
Not only does this feel wonderful, but I am excited to know that scientists have shown that what I am experiencing is having a positive impact on my developing brain. Research demonstrates that secure attachment that results from consistent nurturing responsiveness to my expressed needs can have an incredibly important impact on my ability:
- to form healthy relationships with others
- to delay gratification
- to problem solve
- to put up with the frustration of failure and have more patience
- to calm down from excitement or over-stimulation
I may also:
- have a longer attention span
- be able to better manage physical reactions to emotions
- have an increased capacity for empathy
- feel less anxiety
- have greater skills in communicating emotions in healthy ways
- exhibit fewer behavioral problems
- be healthier
- have more confidence and a positive self-perception
- be less fearful
- have more willingness to explore and learn through challenges
I am such a fortunate baby to have all that I need happening in my life. The thing that makes me very sad is to know this doesn’t happen for all babies.
There are many babies that do not have their cries answered or have their needs met consistently. These babies become very fearful, distressed, frustrated, and hopeless.
When this occurs repeatedly their emotional development remains “stuck” at this stage. When these babies grow up they will still have a focus on still needing someone to care about them and to feel safe and secure.
These experiences that directly impact the way a brain develops, can have an affect on relationships, health, behavior and learning in many ways. Those children will more likely have an extensive focus on survival, develop controlling behaviors, stress related illnesses, may not have a very positive self perception and more.
I really do not understand why all parents and caregivers are not given Neuro-Nurturing® information before babies are born and the support they need after a baby is born. Do you? It could make such a difference if this was provided to EVERY parent. Is there anything you can do to help?
There is not much I can do from my crib, except to share my insights with you. But, I would love it if every baby could have the wonderful experiences I am having.... because every baby deserves it and everyone in the world will ultimately benefit when all babies grow up with well developed brains.
I would really appreciate it if you would do what you can to take steps to ensure that EVERY baby develops with a secure attachment.
Now that I am fed and got the nurturing attention I needed...I really need some playtime!
The Nurturing a Newborn Set provides EASY ideas and simple brain development information for loving interaction leading to secure attachment and healthy overall development, and for even more loving, nurturing, consistent ways to interact with your baby. Also, included is our newest publication that new parents are thrilled with.... The First 60 Days booklet with Nurturing Knowledge, for unlearning 22 common myths and misconceptions about newborns and support for their parent/caregiver in this significantly influential time.
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