Secure attachment is the foundation for emotional development and the ability to form healthy relationships with others. This also then leads to a child’s ability to regulate emotions effectively, to be able to delay gratification, to problem solve, and to have empathy for others. This all then contributes to the development of a positive self perception. So, higher functioning areas of the brain begin developing in the most healthy ways through caring and responsive early relationships.
Mark Brady, Ph.D. contributes a wealth of information on this topic in his writing. I most enjoy his writing about what he states is the, “ Big Brain Question ”. Below are portions of his contributions on this topic.
"The healthy brain is an anticipation-prediction machine. When we operate in environments where there is little predictability and we have little idea what to anticipate from one moment to the next, chronic stress results. There’s ONE question that all brains want answered, and they want it answered, “Yes.” Parent’s brains, children’s brains, all brains. And they don’t want a lukewarm “Yes,” or a “Maybe Yes” or a “Getting-to-Yes Yes.” They want a substantial, resounding, unequivocal, “YES!” Yes. When the answer is something other than “Yes.” if the answer is “Maybe,” or “I’m not sure,” a confusion and uncertainty begins to take shape in our brains. The Question our brains ask is …… Are you there for me…? Do I matter enough that you’ll put me first when I need you to? Can I count on you to attend to me in the ways I need you to? Do I truly and deeply matter to you? These questions are being asked – non-verbally through behavior often – and when they get answered “Yes,” we can relax and begin to feel safe in our relationships. The self-preservation structures of the brain continually monitor our environment and the people in it for safety. Our survival depends upon it. We generally love the people we feel the safest being around, and the emotional responsiveness often identified as love arises out of this safe “felt sense.”
The Love Your Baby packet provides parents with insights and ideas to easily answer this important question and provide needed love even in your busy day! Get yours here!
It also provides professionals and other caring adults with a very unique promotional item or gift that gets you very positive attention!
Enjoy making a difference for children!
Mark Brady, Ph.D, is the author of the blog, The Committed Parent .